Kitty McSlutterson

My mind is a blank once again.

I have not gotten a lot of sleep the past couple of nights because the little cat is -- wait for it -- in heat. The question of whether or not she has been spayed has been answered, and how! She's slinking around with her butt up in the air, rubbing up against anything and everything, all the while singing the feline equivalent of "Me SO Horny!" and "Hello, Sailor!"

It does not make for a restful night, let me tell you.

The big cat is quite curious. We got her spayed before her first heat, so she has never had the experience of desperately needing to get laid. She's really keeping an eye on the other one now -- I can practically see the question marks floating over her furry head.

We invested in a calming spray, which we have in a room diffuser. We brush her a lot and skritch her neck and pet her too; it seems to settle her down for a bit. It's a poor substitute for the love of big old Tom Tabby, but it will have to do.

Everything I've read says this can last from two days to ten days, and can reoccur after a week if she doesn't get pregnant! I think we can make through this first bout of passionate longing, but once will definitely be quite enough. As soon as the crooning ends and the butt returns to its normal position, she's going to the vet for the spayening.

So I'm sorry, Taffy Cat, that you won't get to experience the joyous feeling of hot sex, but I know that we'll both be happier this way.