Tights Are Not Pants: Prints Edition
Getting Well

More Than The Blues This Time

What a weird day.

Snow, rain, wind, snow, sleet, snow, rain, nothin', snow... snain! This storm was hyped to high heaven. It lived up to the forecast in some areas, but in my neck of the woods it wasn't all that. The ground got coated with about three thick inches of icy goo, but the roads (thankya!) are clear.

All the weather worry meant that I worked from home today. I set myself up in the kitchen and whacked away at a couple of different projects and got a fair amount of work done. Normally I don't care for working at home, but I must admit that it was nice to sleep until 7:30, have pancakes for breakfast because Joe was off and in a cookin' mood, and start working before I took a shower. (Never fear, I did take a shower. Eventually.)

The sleeping in thing was particularly nice because I had a lousy night's sleep last night. I usually wake up once or twice a night, but I get up, go to the bathroom, get back in bed and go back to sleep. Not last night. I was awake from three until five, oh woe.

Part of the sleep problem is that my nocturnal clenching and grinding has gotten so severe that I actually broke a little piece off a tooth! Granted, that tooth has been filled and refilled and re-refilled, so it was only a matter of time. Indeed, my dentist allowed as how he could try refilling it again, but he didn't know if it would work. This is his nice way of saying, "Look, you really need a crown, but I'll give it a shot if if you want." I obliged him by saying, "Look, let's just skip right to the crown."

What I'd really like, though, is to not grind my goddamn teeth so much.

I mean, in addition to cracking pieces off my teeth, it makes my entire head ache -- a really dull, throbbing ache like a sinus infection causes. The otolagyei otolarynolgop otolargynecol ear nose throat doctor told me that facial bones are like tectonic plates made of human bone. All that clenching and grinding makes them grind up against each other, which hurts.

Not only that, it knots up my neck and shoulder muscles something fierce. The stretches I do every morning help, but not enough. I'm a tensed up mess.

Then there's the fact that I am having such a hard time with this work stuff. It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that the Universe means for me to learn something from this, or that I really don't want the damn management position, or that I just should suck it up or not take it so seriously or go with the flow or do as I'm told. When I'm brutally honest with myself I have to admit that I'm simply jealous and resentful. I don't especially like myself when I'm jealous and resentful.

Well! This post certainly took a turn, didn't it?

So here's the bottom line. I found myself researching the company's mental health benefits the other day, and that woke me up more than any tooth grinding ever has. I have decided to take up smoking start drinking heavily get some medical help. I finally realized that I have more than the blues this time around.