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Why I'm Not In Sales

Saturday my sister and I hauled a lot of our junk gently used merchandise to a local flea market, held at a local outdoor ice rink. I brought a couple of boxes of 80s-vintage jewelry (anyone remember twister beads??). Some of the jewelry was actually quite nice -- sterling silver and semi-precious stones -- but I hadn't worn it in years. Most of it was cheesy costume jewelry from the mall accessory store. Sis brought tons of her kids' old clothes, a bread machine, a complete rack stereo, and various other tchotkes.

Now, my sister and I are not the best yard sale/flea market planners in the whole wide world. We priced by the seat our pants, cheap cheap cheap. I was a hardass on the good jewelry, though -- five bucks a piece and not a penny less. Most of the rest of the stuff? A buck. A quarter. Whatever.

My sister sold the bread maker for a dollar to the Avon Lady in the next booth. The Dennis Rodman and Flava Flav action figures went for -- what else? -- fitty cent. A pretty top? A dollar. Leather jacket? Three bucks.

My sister-in-law arrived with some stuff of her own. She, unlike us, is a pro. She's a crafter and sells at craft fairs, so she comes prepared. She even made signs! Who knew? She sold some good stuff at good prices, including a deep fryer for 20 bucks, also to the Avon Lady.

Anyway, because it was Saturday, we delegated the Mom wrangling to my brother. He called her up to tell her that lunch would be a little late.

"The girls are at a flea market," he explained.

"What?" asked Mom.

"A FLEA MARKET!" he emphasized.

"A plea bargain! What did they do that they have to have a plea bargain?" inquired Mom.

"NO! NOT A PLEA BARGAIN! A FFFLEA MAR-KET!" he bellowed.

(Although, I have to admit, a flea market is kind of like a plea bargain. The sellers plead with the buyers, who are looking for a bargain. Too much of a stretch? Probably.)

We made about $85, so free lunch, score! We dumped all the leftover clothes (which were most of them) into the Planet Aid bin. Everything else went back home with us.

Well, except the rack stereo. Nobody wanted it, not even for free, so we left it by the dumpster. Poor stereo.



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