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Ten Tips For A Great Beach Vacay

Here are ten tips to help you get the most out of your weekend at the beach:

Tip #1.

After a fun night of drinking and carousing, do not drive your car into the side of a building. If you do, remember to take the Mapquest printout with your hotel's address on it with you.

Tip #2.

You can get just as sunburned on a cloudy day as a sunny day. Believe me; I know.

Tip #3.

It's fine to wear your panda costume in public.

Tip #4.

While wearing your panda costume, do not run into stopped traffic and grind yourself against the cars. Come to think of it, don't that in any sort of garb.

Tip #5.

Sunscreen. Do not substitute baby oil.

Tip #6.

If you are hammered and don't want to wobble home, do not steal a truck from a hotel parking lot so that you can drive home.

Tip #7.

If you must steal a truck from a hotel parking lot to get home, do not steal a carpet cleaning truck with truck-mounted hoses, especially if the hoses are currently being used to clean the carpets in the hotel. It's pretty easy to find a truck that has several hoses flopping around and spewing water out of the back.

Tip #8.

If you ignore Tip #7, do not try to elude the police by driving the wrong way down the highway, because you will probably wreck the truck and annoy the officer who is following you.

Tip #9.

If you do wreck the truck, it's in your best interest not to run from or fight with the officer who is placing you under arrest, because the officer will be really really annoyed.

Tip #10.

A stay in the city jail is free. You, however, won't be. On the other hand, you won't need the sunscreen.

Enjoy your stay!