Working Even in My Dreams
Ten Things I Did Over The Last Four Days

I Feared for Her Dress

You know, I don't play in the middle of the street, because that's where the cars are, and the cars are usually going fast enough to hurt me.

Evidently not everyone feels this way.

Last Saturday, Joe and I were on our way to our lovely joint birthday dinner, when we stopped at a red light on the main drag in downtown Frederick, Maryland. As soon as the light turned and the traffic stopped, a whole bevy of people rushed into the middle of the street, frantically setting up and using bright lights and cameras (both still and video). Then, a man and woman ran toward each other hungrily. I realized, just as the woman leapt into the man's arms, that they were a bride and groom. She was in an absolutely gorgeous, strapless gown (in below-freezing weather!); he was in white tie and tails (including white shoes!) They smooched, they hugged, he twirled her around, it was all very romantic and swell.

And then the light turned green.

Joe inched up, being sweet and nice and giving them time to evacuate the intersection and allow the waiting traffic to proceed.

However, they continued their little romantic interlude, with Groom bending Bride over in a classic lip lock. I feared for her dress, quite frankly.

Joe inched up a little more. By now it was looking iffy that we'd make the light -- our light! our right of way! -- so since was plenty of room for us to pass the happy entourage, so Joe gave up on the niceness and stepped on the gas.

As did the rest of the waiting traffic.

Just then a minion stomped into the street yelling "Stop the car NOW! Stop the CAR NOW! I said, STOP THE CAR NOW!"

And, in a grand example of knowing when to emote, I turned and hollered, "How about YOU GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN' STREET!"

And then Joe professed his undying love for me.

Too bad the window was closed.