And the winner, with four out of ten, the lovely and talented LA!
1. White white white, is the color of our carpet.
Clue: He's named after a car.
Answer: The Producers (1968 original), Carmen Ghia, played by Andreas Voutsinas
The original is still the best -- it features Zero Mostel as Max and a very young Gene Wilder as Leo. When Max and Leo go to visit the director they want for the show, the very gay factotum makes them remove their shoes, because...
2. Yvonne, I love you; but he pays me.
Clue: His boss is named Rick.
Answer: Casablance, Sascha, played by Leonid Kinskey
Casablanca is my favorite movie in the whole entire world. Sascha the Bartender is in love with Yvonne, a beautiful girl who flirts with Germans but is in love with Rick (Humphrey Bogart). When Rick insists that Sascha cut off Yvonne's drinks, she protests, and he replies...
3. I'm sitting on something!
Clue: The reply is "I lost mine in the stock market."
Answer: International House, Peggy Hopkins Joyce, played by herself
The 193x spoof of Grand Hotel is full of hilarious moments from the best comedians of the era, including George Burns and Gracie Allen, Franklin Pangborn, and (of course) W.C. Fields. When Fields takes Peggy Hopkins Joyce (the Paris Hilton of her day) for a ride in his Auto-Gyro, she sits on a cat, and says...
4. Take guns; kill Nazis!
Clue: He looks good in a loincloth.
Answer: Tarzan Triumphs, Tarzan, played by Johnny Weissmuller
This potboiler is unintentionally funny. In it, Zanda the Princess tries to enlist Tarzan's help in repelling the invading Nazis. It's only when the Nazis abduct Boy that Tarzan comes around. He distributes the weapons to the natives with the admonition...
5. Oh, vegetable man!! Oh, vegetable gentleman!
Clue: He wants to buy an orange grove with his inheritance.
Answer: It's A Gift, Harold Bissonette, played by W.C. Fields
My favorite W.C. Fields flick, this one leaves me weak from laughing. In this scene, Mr. Bissonette (pronounced Biss-o-NAY, a running gag in the movie), has been trying to sleep on the porch, to no avail. The vegetable man has been loudly hawking his wares in the early morning. Bissonette wants to clobber him, so he calls out...
6. I can't put my arms down!
Clue: He hid in the cupboard.
Answer: A Christmas Story, Randy Parker, played by Ian Petrella
This one is a tradition in our house. In this scene, the Mom dresses Randy in sweaters, snowsuit, knit hat, mittens, and scarf, whereupon Randy starts crying that...
7. You left out a Hungadunga!
Clue: Hello, he must be going.
Answer: Animal Crackers, Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding, played by Groucho Marx
Animal Crackers was the second of the Marx Brothers classics. Groucho dictates a letter to his law firm -- Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and McCormick -- and asks his secretary (Zeppo Marx) to read it back to him. When Zeppo does, Groucho scolds him because...
8. He vas my... BOYFRIEND!
Clue: Her name had an unfortunate effect on the horses.
Answer: Young Frankenstein, Frau Blucher, played by Chloris Leachman
I once made a cashier wait while I watched this scene on an overhead TV. Frankenstein (Gene Wilder), Helga (Terri Garr), and Igor (the amazing Marty Feldman) have been following the mysterious violin music, only to confront Frau Blucher on the steps, where she finally reveals her deep dark secret about Frankenstein's father...
9. I am pointing a gub at you.
Clue: He played cello in the marching band.
Answer: Take the Money and Run, Virgil Starkwell, played by Woody Allen
This is an early Woody Allen gem, back when he was funny. It's in the style of a documentary on the life and criminal career of Virgil Starkwell. One of the funniest bits is the interview with Virgil's parents, who wear nose-and-glasses to protect their identities. When Virgil attempts a bank robbery, he scrawls a note that reads...
10. Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Clue: He gets sick and can't fly.
Answer: Airplane!, Captain Oveur, played by Peter Graves
The wonderfully hilarious Airplane! has features a scene where little Joey gets a tour of the cockpit. The captain keeps asking him weird questions, like...