Thanks for Visiting; I Miss You

This afternoon I took a nap in front of the TV set. The PBS series Moguls and Movie Stars was on. I had one of my surreal dreams - I know, all dreams are surreal. In the dream, I was watching the exact episode of Moguls and Movie Stars that was on. Now that's not so inexplicable; my brain simply transferred what my ears were already hearing into the dream. Anyway, I was sitting on... Read more →


Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is my mom's birthday -- she would have been 100 years old. There was a time when I thought she would easily make it to this birthday. What a celebration we would have had! Believe me, Mom would have made sure of that. For the last decade or more, her birthday celebration has consisted of a big meal out on the town with as many relatives as could make it. For several years she... Read more →


The Good Old Days

My mom used to wax nostalgic for her past, usually when confronted with some form of technology that she didn't understand or some behavior that she didn't agree with. "My world is gone," she'd sigh. At one point I asked her when she thought her "world" existed. She told me "Oh, the time around World War II." I was born in 1952 -- which means her world was gone by the time she had me.... Read more →


A Collection of Souls

I had to do Mom's final tax return last month, which meant that I had to root around in the records a little bit. I found her wallet in the blue steel records box and went through it to ensure that there wasn't anything else that I needed to take care of. (I suppose it's time to throw it out, but I can't quite do that yet.) At any rate, I found her stash of... Read more →


Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of Mom's death. I thought about going to the cemetery today, but I didn't. It just didn't seem like something I wanted to do. I mean, what would I do there? Stand by my parents' grave and my brother's grave and cry on this bitter cold day? I can do that just fine here and stay warm. Really, there's more of my mother right here in my living room... Read more →


Gnashing Of Teeth

Well, I'm a little under the weather. I've had this weird ache in my head -- it feels like someone pinching the bridge of my nose. I suspect that I ground my teeth to a fare-thee-well last night. I know why, too. It was because I had a pretty vivid dream. Do you ever have "theme" dreams? I mean, dreams that might differ in the details but have the same general feeling or progression? I... Read more →


Thirty Days of Truth 3

Day 3 of the Thirty Days of Truth: Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For. My Pop died in 1991. My Mom died last January. I have to forgive myself for not being with them when they died. Pop died sometime in the night, so who could expect anyone to be there? Still, I hadn't visited him in the nursing home for a week or maybe more. Alone in a nursing home in the middle... Read more →


Pictures From The Past

I only knew my parents when they were older -- I wasn't even born until Mom was 40. And, of course, I never knew my Gramma as a young woman. I often think about what they were like when they were young. The clues are in the old photos I have of them and other family members, so I thought I'd share a few of my favorites. Here's my Pop in the 1930s. Isn't he... Read more →


Straight Into My Heart

I was walking into the parking garage when I saw them: a tiny, frail old lady leaning on her walker, inching her way down the sidewalk, and her daughter, middle-aged woman keeping pace, encouraging her mom. I had to bite my lip because... well, that was Mom and I, not so long ago. But the lip biting only made the tears fall out of my eyes as I passed them, passed them quickly because who... Read more →


Is This Kinda Icky?

So I get home from work today and there's a wee package waiting for me on the stoop. I haven't ordered anything recently, so of course I immediately decided it was a check for a million dollars from an unknown benefactor. I couldn't have been more wrong. I picked up the envelope and saw that it was from The Washington Post. Maybe I'd won some sort of prize! Again, no. Inside was a plaque of... Read more →