Red Nose

If I Were...

First seen on Jenn's site, then seen on Golfwidow's site, now seen on mine!

If I were a direction I’d be … up.
If I were furniture I’d be … polished.
If I were a liquid I’d be … potable.
If I were a sin I’d be … deadly.
If I were a gem/stone I’d be … faceted.
If I were a metal I’d be … heavy, or perhaps heavy.
If I were a tree I’d be … flowering.
If I were a fruit I’d be … juicy.
If I were a flower I’d be … wild.
If I were weather I’d be … predictable.
If I were a musical instrument I’d be … stringed.
If I were an element I’d be … atomically numbered.
If I were a colour I’d be … complementary.
If I were an animal I’d be … furry.
If I were a sound I’d be … travelling at 650 miles per hour.
If I were a lyric I’d be … an earworm.
If I were a song I’d be … sung.
If I were a music type I’d be … the blues.
If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be … Joy.
If I were a feeling I’d be … groovy.
If I were a book I’d be … well read.
If I were food I’d be … dessert.
If I were a city I’d be … Travelo.
If I were a taste I’d be … exquisite.
If I were a scent I’d be … a spenny.
If I were a word I’d be … in the dictionary.
If I were a verb I’d be … intransitive.
If I were an object I’d be … direct.
If I were a piece of clothing I’d be … comfortable.
If I were a body part I’d be … handy.
If I were a facial expression I’d be … inscrutable.
If I were a cartoon character I’d be … Sylvia.
If I were a movie I’d be … rated R.
If I were a geometrical figure I’d be … many sided.
If I were one of the four seasons I’d be … an expensive hotel.
If I were a sentence I’d be … complete.

And now, this meme is also complete.

Crazy Eights

That gay chick over there thinks my answers to this Crazy Eights meme will be interesting. Okay then! I hope they're a little interesting at least. It's been a long, stressful, ridiculous day and I'm really pretty much wiped, so no guarantees.

Ready? Here we go.

8 Things I’m Passionate About

1. Joe -- in a really passionate sort of way
2. SonnyeBoy -- in a really mom sort of way
3. Feminism -- in a women's rights sort of way
4. Peace -- in a "war is hell" sort of way
5. Personal responsibility -- in a "choices have consequences" sort of way
6. Sleeping -- in an "I could use a lot of it" sort of way
7. Ice Cream -- in a favorite food sort of way
8. Coffee -- in an addicted sort of way, not a snobby sort of way. I'll drink any kind. Well, almost.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

1. Visit Ireland. Really visit, for a long time, and see everything, but not in a big tour group.
2. Ride the American Orient Express, because I love trains and train travel.
3. Stay at the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite for their Christmas banquet, just because it looks so decadently wonderful and fun. Kind of like Medieval Times, only classy.
4. Visit Finland again -- in the summer this time!
5. Finish the sequel. Sometime before I die. Really.
6. Go on a cruise to Alaska. Or the Caribbean.
7. See the Capitals win the Stanley Cup.
8. Win the Powerball.

8 Things I Say Often

1. I'm sorry.
2. I love you.
3. Okay, Mom.
4. Really?
5. No shit!
6. Absolutely.
7. I'm tired.
8. Thanks.

8 Books I’ve Read Recently

1. Water for Elephants
2. Plum Lovin'
3. The Ghost Map
4. Listening Is An Act of Love
5. The Man with Two Left Feet
6. Wife for Hire
7. I Am America, and So Can You!
8. There's A Slight Chance I Might Be Going To Hell

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over

1. Love and Mercy
2. Goin' Back to New Orleans
3. Let's Get It On
4. Fat Man in the Bathtub
5. I Will Not Be Broken
6. The Big Rock Candy Mountain
7. This Old Heart of Mine
8. Slow Turning

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends

1. I laugh when I'm with them.
2. They listen to me.
3. We agree on The Big Stuff.
4. We have way too much fun together.
5. It's like we were never apart.
6. Steak.
7. Dancing.
8. Hugs. Big, warm, enveloping, hugs.

No tags, because I do not tag. But if you want to do it, do it! And let me know so that I can read your Crazy Eights!

Another Long Weekend Love List

The day started early -- an 8:00 meeting, f'cryin' out loud -- so I'm winding down the day and getting ready to head into the sunset and a three-day weekend (thanks, presidents!). I love three-day weekends, and I also love the Friday love list:

• My new windshield miracle wipers -- the combination of Rainx windshield treatment and the Rainx wipers make for a clear, clear view of the road no matter the weather. I will now officially shut. up. about the Rainx.
• Pulled pork with Mojo Mild sauce.
• Fage yogurt with honey. I tried this for the first time today, and Oh Holy Dear Sweet Jesus it was good. Then I perused the nutrition information and know why. Glorious, glorious whole milk. And honey.
• Warmth.
• My new sneakers. They make my feet want to walk.
• The pretty deep pink rose on my desk. The guys in my group handed out roses to all the women in the department yesterday. Nice work, fellas!
• My iPod.
• Baked beans.
• Chocolate-covered almonds.
• The fact that I scored tickets to the new version of The Scottish Play at the Folger Shakespeare Library. Teller co-directed and it's got special magic effects, so it's sure to be surprising and bloody and wonderful.
• My haircut, mostly.
• The mild weather today.
• The new Asian restaurant across the street from my office.
• Easy, postage-paid returns.
• Bonuses.
• A nice big tax refund.
• The laid back acoustic version of "Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin that Joe has on his iPod. It will soon be on my iPod.
• Richard Zednick, for getting up and skating to the bench after getting his carotid artery sliced by a skate blade! I mean, the dude lost 5 pints of blood -- and there's only 8 to a customer. Get well soon, Zed.
• Winning the Evil level of Snood.
• Colin Firth as Mr. D'Arcy.
• Funny Valentines.

What do you love this week?

Que Sera, Sera

Ronni, over at the most excellent Time Goes By, got tagged to do the When I Was Young meme, wherein you think back to when you were 25 and list five things you never thought you would be or that would happen. With my 56th birthday fast approaching, I thought it was only right that I jump on it.

I turned 25 on January 18, 1977. When I was 25, I never thought that I would:

• Be anything other than a circus clown, or perhaps an ack-tore. I thought I had found my life's work, that I would do what I loved and the money would follow. Hah! Turns out that I hadn't and it didn't.

• Have a child who grew up to be a cop. My children (plural, mind you) would be hippie clowns just like me. Hah! I did live up to my internal promise to let my child follow his bliss, and his bliss led him right into the police academy.

• Be so into computers and high technology. At 25, I cherished the thought that I would go back to nature, live in a teepee in the wilderness, and eat of the fruit of the land with flowers in my hair. Hah! I am currently lusting after the new MacBook Air, a suite at the Ritz Carlton, room service, and a dye job.

• Lose my two best friends -- one to cancer; one to AIDS. Hell, AIDS wasn't even on the horizon yet. On the other hand, I never thought that my mother would still be alive at 96.

• Vote Republican. Oh wait! That still hasn't happened! Scratch that.

• Earn what I'm earning. Then again, I never though gasoline would cost $3.00 a gallon, either.

Overall, though, I'm glad that things turned out the way they did. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get to do this meme again in another 30 years!

Muttering At The End Of The Year

It's been awhile since I've done Unconscious Mutterings, so here we go!

I say, and you think:

1. Memorable ::  Unforgettable
2. Resolution :: Weekend
3. Goal ::  8 against the Sens!
4. 2008 ::  Gotta be better than 2007
5. Sensational ::  Game against the Cowboys!
6. Popular demand ::  Back by
7. Old ::  Friends
8. Music ::  Food of Love
9. Intense :: Where you sleep when camping
10. 2007 ::  Good riddance!

Resolution Weekend is the yearly scrapbook cult marathon event, but we're not going this year. That's okay; we're going somewhere else!

I'm also quite happy that I was able to get in mentions of my Caps great win against the Eastern-conference leaders, the Ottawa Senators. The score was very unhockeylike: 8 to 6! And Ovi had 4 goals all by his ownself! And he played the day after getting stitches in his leg from a skate-blade cut! Woo!

Of course, I also had to watch my Skins play the Cowboys, with a playoff spot on the line. It was especially nice to see the Skins play so well, holding the Cowboys offense to 1 yard rushing. Granted, the game was meaningless for the Cowboys, but please. One yard? Come. On.

Finally, I couldn't resist the bad pun there in number 9. I mean, it's like an order.

Lovely Memories

In honor of the Friday Love List, here are few memories that I love to.. well, remember.

I love remembering the Christmas when SonnyeBoy was five. Joe's brother Tim was staying with us, and we were all up and eating breakfast on Christmas morning. SonnyeBoy came stumbling out, all full of sleepiness, and I said, "Looks like Santa's been here!" SonnyeBoy took off to the Christmas tree like a rocket on crack. He stood in front of the tree for a minute, repeating, "This is incredible! This is incredible!"

I love remembering the night I first watched the big top drop. I usually did my job on tear-down nights and then went right to bed (or to the bar). One night in Biloxi Mississippi I stayed up. It was almost spooky -- the only sound was the generator, and the tent was drooping and slack. The canvas boss hollered "Ready!" and suddenly the tent was flying down to the ground, four steel bale rings screaming down the four center poles, the canvas imploding on itself. When the rings hit the bottom of the poles, the air pressure popped the edges of the tent out and straightened out the canvas flat on the ground, just like when you flip a comforter on a bed.

I love remembering my wedding day. I was trying really hard not to cry up there on the altar, and then I glanced over at my sister kneeling beside me. And the tears were running down her cheeks. I cracked up and was fine from then on.

I love remembering the night Joe propsed to me. We were at my company's holiday party, sitting by the bar that served the strong drinks, when Joe looked at me and said, "Would you like to grow old with me?" I thought that was a very nice, romantic thing to say, so of course I said, "Sure, I would!" Then Joe said, "I think you'd look really good with a ring on your finger." And suddenly I realized that Joe had just asked me to marry him, and I had said yes! Good thing I would have said yes anyway, eh?

I love remembering my Mom and Dad's golden anniversary party. My brother gave the toast, and Pop bowed and Mom beamed. Someone asked Pop how it felt to be married for 50 years, and he said, "It feels like I was born married!" A true romantic, my Pop.

I love remembering the sight of my Pop, recovering from his first stroke and using a cane, walking with two-year old SonnyeBoy up to the boat ramp in Ocean City, hand in hand. That one fills my heart to bursting.

A Form Of Love

The lovely and talented Meg, founder of the Friday Love List, wants to ensure that there's lots of love out there today, so she made it really easy for us love listers to get it done. She gave us a Love Form to fill out! Here it is, fresh from her site, with my answers.

Things YOU Love:

Song you love: I Will Not Be Broken, by Bonnie Raitt

Food you love: Beignets and Cafe Au Lait

Thing you love to look at: This painting, which hangs in our guestroom

Sound you love: Our wind chimes

Thing you love to laugh at: Marx Brothers movies ("There ain't no sanity clause!")

Gadget you love: My apple/peeler/corer/slicer, but I hardly ever use it! That's a bad tendency of mine; I fall in love with gadgets, buy them, and after the initial fling is over, I put them away and never use them again.

Person you love: Joe, of course

Software you love: Articulate Presenter -- I know, it's a work thing, but it's really a great tool.

Word you love: Delicious!

Thing you love on the internet: Typepad.com (nothing like sucking up to your blog host)

Place you love to go on vacation: Ocean City, Maryland

Sensation you love: A really good, soothing massage

Animal you love: Elephants

Book you love: Summer Lightning, by P.G. Wodehouse

Emotion you love: Gratitude

Occasion you love: Christmas Eve dinner with my family

Quality you love in people: Sense of humor

Thing you most love to shop for: Books

And finally…

What you love about today: I took a good walk on a crisp, cold, sunny winter day!

Seven More Things

The lovely and talented Anne tagged me to do the "Seven Facts" meme -- I already did one when Candy tagged me, but Anne is lovely and talented, so I'll find seven more facts that you might not know about me.

Or you might.

Here goes!

1. I have anxiety dreams, especially when I have something I have to do. I had one last night! I kept reminding myself IN MY DREAM to pay my mother's assisted living bill. So I did, first thing this morning.
2. I love oysters on the half shell. In fact, I was craving some today. Of course, I didn't think of the obvious place in the greater DC area to get oysters, but instead I thought of RiRa, an Irish restaurant that makes a point of advertising their oyster availability. And... they were out of oysters. So we ordered anyway, and then the server came back and told us that the delivery had just arrived! Whee! They were delicious too, nice and briny and plump.
3. I began wearing glasses in sixth grade, switched to contact lenses in ninth grade, and finally had LASIK surgery in 2000. I had the monovision adjustment, so I still don't need reading glasses -- most of the time.
4. My dad used to take us kids to the harness races at Ocean Downs sometimes. I'd read the odds to Pop, but one day the board seemed very fuzzy and I couldn't read it. Pop suggested that Mom better take me to the eye doctor. When the eye doctor asked me why I thought I needed glasses, I replied, "I couldn't read the tote board at the racetrack." Mom wanted to sink through the floor.
5. I always honk my horn when I drive across railroad tracks.
6. I pinch my bottom lip together when I'm thinking about something. Joe, for some reason, thinks this is weird, so I am dutifully reporting it.
7. I spent several rush hour commutes memorizing the words to Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues. My next Dylan lyric memorization goal is Highway 61 Revisited.

I'm supposed to tag a buncha more people, but I break chain letters. So if you'd like to do this one, consider yourself tagged!

Pie and Posts

Evidently no one knows how to make a pumpkin pie anymore, because the whole entire world is searching for "best pumpkin pie" recipes and landing here. Not that I mind, because that recipe really does make the best damn pumpkin pie in the whole entire world. My gramma is probably smiling down from heaven, only she'd have no idea how someone got her pumpkin pie recipe by typing into a machine attached to a TV.

Aside from that, I must confess that I have been terribly remiss. The ornery Mr. OrneryPest tagged me to do this meme late last week, and I am finally getting around to doing it.

Tag!  You're it!  Brag about your diary!  The meme: Pick out five blog posts that illustrate the evolution of your blog, link to them, and comment on them.  Then tag five more diarists.

Okay, so we automatically have a little problem, in that I started my diary on January 1, 2002 on Diary-X. Diary-X is no more, having self-destructed in early 2006, and taking with it almost all of my entries from 2005.

But! I have every other entry from those days. The problem is that I can't link to them, because they're not posted anywhere, but I will comment on them. Let's start with that first one.

January 1, 2002. I started this whole diary/online journal/blog deal to document my weight loss. This first entry simply mentioned that I had lost a little over 19 pounds and that my blood pressure was down. Now? Um, not so much. Oh well.

August 7, 2002. I wrote this post for the "If Project", a neat collaboration where you answered a  question starting with the word "If". The question for that month was:

If you were to reinvent yourself, what is it about you that absolutely should be changed? What radical improvement do you think others would hope to see in you?

I had already almost made my weight-loss goal, so I wrote about how I wanted to find a new job, I was depressed over my current job, and I simply didn't want to do it anymore. What do you know -- a good friend of mine read it and immediately called me to tell me of an opening where I now work. I've always thought that was pretty cool.

September 6, 2003. This post, which I did bring over here, was the first circus memory that I posted. It's about the cook on the first circus I worked for. I had started writing up my memories of that show in the early 80s, and somehow they survived several different computers, several house moves, and pretty much life in general.

December 21, 2004. This post won a "Best of Holidailies" award and was a featured post on Indiebloggers. I've reposted it here just today. It wasn't easy to write, but I'm glad I did.

December 6, 2006. I really like this post because it features the first video that I actually put together, complete with music. I'm even in it, thanks to Bev!

Now I'm supposed to tag five more people, but because I neither forward chain letters or tag meme participants, you're on your own. If you want to do it, let me know if you do!

The Food Of Love List

I was trying to decide all day how to do the Love List today. Shall I do places I love? Shall I do people I love? What about this? Or that?

But the lovely and talented Meg, creator of the Love List, decided for me.

Foods!

I love:

• Fire-roasted tomato soup followed by the goat cheese and pine nut salad from here
• Rare roast beef, with onions and tomatoes
• Half-price burger night at the Olney Ale House, especially the BBQ Burger
• Milkshakes. Yes, even McDonald's milkshakes
• Potato chips. Oh God, potato chips!
• Twix!
• Fresh, homegrown tomatoes, sprinkled with salt
• Fried green tomatoes
• Steamed blue crabs (yes, Bev, with Old Bay!)
• Sweet white corn on the cob
• Frozen custard
• Matsumoto shave ice
• Azuki bean ice cream
• Cherry Garcia ice cream
• Butter Pecan (or, as we say in our fambly, Buttery Khan (KHAAAANNNN!) ice cream)
• Vanilla ice cream, with Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies crushed on top
• Meringue cookies
• Cream soda
• A well-made Mojito
• Fried chicken
• Baked potatoes
• Macaroni and cheese
• St. Andre cheese
• Hummus and pita chips from here
• My Gramma's pumpkin pie, with real whipped cream
• My mother's Chocolate Angel Pie
• Thanksgiving dinner -- whatever that entails, as long as there's roast turkey
• Whoppers
• Steamed spiced shrimp, with cocktail sauce
• Oysters on the half shell, preferably with a mignonette sauce as opposed to cocktail sauce
• Blueberries
• Crisp apples
• Yogurt raisins
• Filet mignon! With horseradish sauce! And a baked potato with butter!
• Coffee, coffee, and coffee.
• And Gingerbread Lattes.

I could go on and on, but for some odd reason, I'm hungry.