Red Nose

Don't Try This At Home

  

Here's a little advice for you:

Don't try the Epley Maneuver right after a shower.

"Why not?" I hear you cry. Here's why not.

The Epley seemed to be working for me. I had done it twice and the vertigo had subsided, kind of like the tide going out gently and slowly, leaving me feeling quite a bit better.

Then I fucked it all up.

Last Friday, after our run to the dump, I took a nice, long, hot, steamy, shower. I dried off and blotted my hair and floated into the bedroom. It was about 4:30, and the evening stretched before me, full of promise.

I thought, "I will do the Epley Maneuver again! Perhaps the third time will be the charm!" So I lay down on the bed, did the requisite head-twisties, and lo, on the last twist, I flew off into a level of dizzed-out spinnitude that rivaled the Whirling Dervishes, only without the cool hats and spiritual enlightenment.

I figured it would pass. It did, sort of, but left me really nauseous and tilty-like. I got dressed and wobbled into the guest room (for there is cable TV there) to lie down for a bit. Then I wobbled back to the bathroom to get the super-hairdrying towel, so that I wouldn't soak the pillow with my wet, wet head. A few minutes turned into 30. Then 60. I got dressed and tried going downstairs, but started feeling really faint and swirly. So I gave up, went upstairs, and crawled under the covers. There I stayed, curled up like a question mark, all night.

Joe checked on me periodically, dear man. He even took down the Christmas tree, put away the ornaments, and hauled the tree out for the recycling guys to pick up. Then he brought me some crackers to munch on, because my stomach was growling but I was afraid to eat anything substantive.

Finally I slept. Saturday I was better, Sunday better than that, and yesterday I was almost back to where I was when I screwed things up.

My own extremely valuable and accurate medical opinion is that I had water in my ears when I did the Epley, and the twisting forced it into the secret inner chambers of my ear, and the magic crystals all screamed and ran away from the impending flood.

However, I will be calling the ENT for a second opinion, just in case.

Digging Out

Remember I mentioned that we cleaned out the basement last week?

Oh. Hell. Yes.

Our finished basement -- recreation room, if you will -- looked like one of those places you see on those HGTV decluttering and organizing shows. You know the ones. The couple has an office full of crap, or a garage full of crap, or a bedroom full of crap, or sometimes a whole house full of crap, and the Organizational/Decluttering Consultant/Expert helps them throw out all of the irrelevant stuff and neatly stow all the important stuff. It usually involves new organizational and storage doodads, beautiful paint jobs, and a few bits of trendy but functional furniture.

Well, we had a basement full of crap. Witness, if you dare, the "before" photos. First, the living area of the room.

And then there's the desk area:

As you can see, big piles of disorganized crap.

We dove in, separating the wheat from the chaff, the donate-ables from the trash, the men from the boys...

Papers that were over two years old. Toys! Tools! Tchotkes! Obsolete electronics! Layers upon layers of dust! We worked for over three hours, and ended up with four full garbage bags of trash, four big boxes of donations, and lots of electronics to recycle. Stuff we kept was actually put away. Then -- vacuuming and dusting. Arranging and storing. Moving boxes of my mother's beautiful Haviland Limoges china from a box on the living room floor to neatly stored in a cabinet that formerly housed SonnyeBoy's old toy trucks and board games.

Friday we took the trash and recyclables to the dump, while Purple Heart picked up the donations.

And we started using our lovely, clean, organized basement.

That rug wasn't even visible. Neither was the seat of the recliner or the couch!

Look! You can actually see the desktop and sit on the couch!

Yeah, the nekkid torso stays. Hey, it's art. That's what Joe tells me, anyway.

I'm Back!

Did you miss me?

On New Year's Eve a big old windstorm swept through the DC area, knocking out two of the three elements of our Comcast Triple Threat Play: internet and phone. TV? No problem.

The lack of landline service was actually kind of restful, what with no telemarketers or other questionable charities begging for money, but the lack of internet was frightful! What to do? Well, wait. Sometimes these things fix themselves, once they get over whatever mechanical snit they're in. So we had a lovely, quiet New Year's Eve, toasting at midnight with a split of champagne.

However, when service was still out on New Year's Day, I started getting twitchy and actually called Comcast on my cell. The lovely Nina apologized profusely for our lack of service. She worked a few roots and stuck a couple pins in a doll, but couldn't get the phone or net back. After more apologizing, she set up a service call for us.

For yesterday. Yes, January third was the soonest we could get a cable guy. Oh well -- such is life.

So, what to do on New Year's Day with no internet?

We cleaned the basement. Yes! I will elaborate on this extraordinary event in a separate post, because it is worthy of such treatment. For now, trust me -- this was a big deal.

Then, a New Year's miracle! Phone and internet came back later in the afternoon, all by itself. We grinned and went off to watch the Southeast-Division-leading Washington Capitals beat the Tampa Bay Lightning.

When we got home from the game, I jumped online and cleared out my email, but I was too tired to do an entry. I figured I'd just do it in the morning.

Alas. Friday morning arrived, but the phone and internet departed. Sigh.

So we loaded up the detritus from the cleaning extravaganza and went to the dump. (See? This cleaning was significant enough to warrant a trip to the dump!)

We watched DVDs, we read, we talked, we rode around. Fun! Who knew there was so much to do outside of the internet?

The cable guys actually arrived -- as promised! A miracle in and of itself! -- Saturday morning. They went outside and checked all the connections and lines, replaced and "weatherized" the splitters, and voila! Phone service! Internet service! Whohoo! Life was back to normal.

And the icing on the cake? My Second-in-the-Eastern-Conference Capitals beat the Rangers!!

Cautiously Optimistic

I did the Epley Maneuver shortly after posting last night, and it seems to have helped. Then again, I haven't tried to lie down on my right side today. I rolled over to my right side early this morning and there was a little bit of dizziness, but it was mild.

So I'm cautiously optimistic. I'll try it again if I lie down tonight and go spinning off the bed.

I took Mom to the doctor today to get her rubber banding checked out. All clear -- the remaining hemerhoid is not inflamed or bleeding, so nothing needs to be done about that. The visit took all of three minutes, two of which were spent in conversation with the doc. We decided to take a ride, then eat at the mall, but Mom got worried that she would have to go to the bathroom. I turned around, dropped her off, and went to her favorite gourmet dining establishment -- Wendy's -- for takeout chili and salads. We had a lovely repast in her room, watching HGTV and talking about the ugly makeovers.

So I'm cautiously optimistic. I'll see Mom again on Saturday.

I started reading Duma Key. I'm enjoying it so far. Even better, it's tickling my writing bone. It's weird, but when I really sit down and read for a good long time, I feel a pull. Since I have a few days left in my lovely, lovely vacation, perhaps I will turn toward that pull and see it takes me.

As you might guess, I'm cautiously optimistic. I want to do more writing. I mean, I have four novels I need to finish! I just need to do it and let it happen, I think.

Again With The Vertigo

It's been about a year and a half since my vertigo has flared up, but flare up it has.

Bah.

Good old BPPV. Evidently one of the wee calcium crystals in my inner ear has gone walkabout. Normally I applaud this sort of independent thinking, but the problem is that this behavior triggers some very obnoxious dizziness whenever I lie on my right side or sit up too fast from a lying-down position. It's the same type of dizziness you get when you've had waaaaaay too much to drink -- you lie down and the room starts spinning around you.

Yeah, like that, only without the fun beforehand.

At least I know what it is now. It started Saturday when I sat up quickly and almost fell off the bed. I lay back down to test it out and yep, welcome back BPPV. It's not going away, so tonight I will do the Epley maneuver to see if I can nip this in the bud.

If not, it's back to my otolaryngologist and all the damn dizziness tests. Because as sure as shit sticks to a blanket, it'll clear up on its own the day before my appointment.

SonnyeBoy Drops In

SonnyeBoy just left, just now, with a load of presents and a kittycat. It was way too short of a visit -- he arrived late yesterday afternoon.

But we had our Second Christmas, with gifts and everything, and it was wonderful. SonnyeBoy always says he never knows what to get for me, but everything he gets is perfect, so he just thinks  he doesn't know what to get me. Or something.

SonnyeBoy treated us to a movie last night. We saw Valkyrie, the flick about the last assassination attempt on Adolph Hitler. It starred a whole bunch of great British actors, and Tom Cruise. It was better than I thought it would be, actually, and I quite enjoyed it. Now I'll have to read up on the history to see how accurate it was. Or I'll just ask Mom. She's quite the expert on Der Fuhrer.

Tonight we treated SonnyeBoy to the Capitals game against the Toronto Maple Leafs. What great fun!! The evening started out with a ceremony honoring Capitals great and Hall of Famer Mike Gartner. The game was terrific -- of course Alex Ovechkin scored another outrageous goal along with an empty netter, helping the Caps win 4-2.

But alas, SonnyeBoy has court tomorrow morning, and so he must go. I miss him already.

MVP!

My Capitals beat the Buffalo Sabers last night, 3-2 -- a highlight in and of itself, of course.

But my oh my, Alex Ovechkin showed exactly why he's the reigning most valuable player. We sit above (way above) this net, so we had a bird's eye view of this pretty, pretty goal. For you hockey novices, keep your eye on the guy in the red sweater, number 8. Watch how he passes the pack to himself THROUGH the other guy's skates! That goalie never had a chance.

Carnivorous

I just finished eating a very nice steak, deliciously juicy and medium rare, done to a turn on The George.

I love steak. Okay, not just steak; I love red meat. I have made peace with my carnivorous nature. I embrace it, in fact.

I grew up on red meat. My Pop was a steak and beef man, and my Mom made sure he got it at least three times a week. On Sundays she cooked up a big standing rib roast, with thick slices of onion and tomato jammed into slits on the edge of the meat. It was never cooked past medium rare, the more juice the better.

I judge all roast beef and prime rib by those Sunday roasts. My mouth waters just thinking of them.

In summer, Pop used to grill steaks and burgers on a little hibachi out on the patio. We always had a bottle of Lea & Perrin's to sauce up the tasty meats. To this day I love a little worcestershire on my steak.

Oh, I took a stab at giving up red meat when I was in college, but it was no use. I'd go home for dinner on Sundays. When a slab of perfectly cooked roast beef landed on my plate, I was a gone goose.

So I'm a theoretical vegetarian. I think it's a great idea, but there's nothing like a good steak.

And To All, A Good Night

Fine presents, cookies and coffee, a long ride around the town, the traditional watching of A Christmas Story, and a bit of a snooze -- all the ingredients of a lovely holiday.

The Capitals jacket fits Joe like a glove; the pretty amber ring sparkles on my hand. Biggest surprise? The great DVD of Beyond the Fringe! Before there was Monty Python, there were Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Alan Bennett, and Jonathan Miller. Inspired!

We tried to see a movie; alas, it was sold out! No worries; there's plenty of time tomorrow, or the next day, or the next.

A chicken is now roasting in the oven. In a minute I'll shuck the corn and whomp up some biscuits. It's not the usual Christmas feast, but it will do us just fine.

And just perhaps, some whipped cream for our after-dinner coffee.

If SonnyeBoy were here, it would be the Best Christmas Ever. But since we'll see him later this weekend, it will do just fine.



 

Quiet And Content

The classical music station is playing beautiful choral Christmas music; soon they will play the entire Nutcracker Suite, uninterrupted.

Joe is quietly reading Volume 1 of Shelby Foote's history of the Civil War; he's deep in the cornfield of Antietam on the bloodiest day of the war. Earlier he wrapped up a present for me and scurried downstairs to put it under the tree.

SonnyeBoy is probably sleeping, getting ready for his shift tonight. He has to work this year, tonight and Christmas night and the night after that. But he's coming home on Saturday, so we'll have two Christmases this year.

It's cloudy and damp outside, not nearly as cold as the previous two days, and we've done all of the errands that we are going to do before the party gets started this evening.

This is my favorite time. Don't get me wrong; I love Christmas Day. But this time, the quiet contented time, before the presents and the eating and the holly jolly festivities get underway, listening to carols and relaxing, is its own kind of special.

All is calm; all is bright.

Merry Christmas.