Red Nose

Reading Comprehension Is Not Her Strength

I was standing in line at Starbucks this afternoon, waiting for the latest version of crack in a cup, when I overheard the young woman in front of me ask the barista:

"Does the Apricot Almond Shortbread have almonds in it?"

Is it me, or is this the stupid question that I think it is? The barista, God bless him, didn't even flinch.

"Yes, it does."

"Okay, I'll have a Mint Chocolate Brownie and two chocolate cookies."

The barista began to get the sweets, when the young woman said:

"Oh, um, and I think I'll have an apricot... oh, wait, they have almonds in them, right?"

"Yes. Almonds."

"Oh, um. Right. Then never mind."

"Do you still want the brownie and the cookies?"

"Yeah."

It's a good thing I don't work in retail. I'd never last.

iOnce Was Lost...

I got home last night, tired and oh so ready for the weekend, and Joe greeted me with some wonderful news:

"Hey, I found your iPod!"

"GREAT! Where was it?" I replied.

"Right where you left it," Joe said. He was grinning, so I knew I was about to feel really stupid.

"Oh no... come on, where was it?"

"In the doughnut speakers. You were listening to it while you were wrapping presents," he said, having mercy on me.

I rolled my eyes. Of course. It hadn't even occurred to me that I might have left it there. But there it was, patiently waiting for me, all charged up even.

...but now, iFound.