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Tights Are Not Pants: Variety Edition

I have been quite remiss in posting examples of my latest fashion headshake, to wit: Tights are not pants. So, rather than post them one at a time, here is one big ol' collection of them.

1.  Shades of the 80s -- the big shirt over tights. Comfortable, yes; pants, no. Oh, and the woman behind her? Those are actually jeans. Extraordinarily tight jeans, but jeans nonetheless. Location: Minneapolis-St. Paul airport.

 

2.  The paint splatter effect tights. Pants? No. At least she's got the gray/black thing going -- except for the backpack and boots. Location: SeaTac Airport.

 

3.The patterned tights. I think they are kind of cute, except for the wedgie effect. Put something over that, please! Location: Glenmont Metro.

 

4. A twofer! Again with the wedgie effect! It's not as obvious with the black tights, but trust me, it was definitely wedged. Also? NOT PANTS. Location: Gallery Place Metro.

 

5. It wouldn't be spring without some pink! I'm glad that the draped white top hides any wedge action, but still -- you know the drill -- not pants. Location: Glenmont Metro.

 

6. Finally, a guest entry from my BFF Judy's granddaughter. Are the faux-jeans pockets and stitching drawn on? Painted on? Are these pajama jeans? These may not, strictly speaking, be tights, but can they be called pants? Whatever they are, they are... unfortunate. Location: Atlanta.

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