Red Nose

Ten Things About The Hurricane

So the hurricane happened; here are ten things about it.

1. SonnyeBoy came home! If there was anything good about having a hurricane, that was it! He had texted us that he would likely show up on Friday, but he surprised us and showed up on Thursday. When he knocked on the door Thursday evening, Joe said, "Oh, it's probably just someone selling something. Don't answer it." So naturally I answered it, and it was SonnyeBoy!

2. We got periodic updates on the Ocean City conditions from my nephew, who rode out the storm. The ocean came all the way up to the dune line, but did not breach it. Whew!

3. Joe got let out of work at 5:00. He reported that the mall was packed the entire day and that people actually complained when the store closed early. Because hello, HURRICANE! What is wrong with people???

4. We ran out of milk.

5. The power went out at 3:17 am Sunday morning, during the worst of the storm. (The power came back on at about 3:30 this morning.)

6. Luckily, we had several working flashlights and a battery-powered radio. And a candle for the bathroom.

7. It's annoying to read in the dark with a flashlight. How come it was exciting and fun when I was a kid?

8. The extent of our hurricane preparations were to buy batteries for the battery-powered radio and stock up on groceries (except for milk).

9. Because the power was out in our neighborhood, we headed out for lunch. Once we got back, SonnyeBoy packed up his clothes and his cat and headed home to Ocean City. After he left, Joe and I went back out to get some dinner. Then we forgot to get milk.

10. We suffered no real damage, just a lot of leaves down in the yard. We'll get a report on the Ocean City house soon; but I think we dodged a bullet there too.

Not About The Hurricane

Yes, yes, yes... there's a goddamn hurricane bearing down on the east coast. Ocean City is under a mandatory evacuation order, blah blah blah.

I will, no doubt, write about the goddamn hurricane, but not now.

Now I want to talk about how I helped set a new world record!

My great good friend Andrea posted on Facebook about UkeFest 2011 and asked if anyone would like to go with her. Now how, I ask you, can anyone resist going to a ukelele festival?? I couldn't, especially since the main event at the fest was the attempt to break the Guiness world record for simultaneous strumming! The record is 851 ukelele players strumming and singing at once.

So Andrea and I met up at the metro station and hoofed it on over to the festival. The evening was perfect: warm, nice breeze, no bugs. Andrea registered to be counted as a player; I did not, because I did not have and cannot play a ukelele.

While Andrea registered, I scanned the crowd and found two wonderful clowns! Mark Jaster, who is a friend of one of my oldest friends, and Michael Rosman, a fellow Clown College grad. They are both supremely talented! Mark was in character; Michael is a character! (Heh.) If you ever get a chance to see these guys, go!

Andrea and I staked out a spot on the lawn, grabbed some supper from the barbeque shack, and settled in to listen to the various wonderful musicians. They included Cathy Fink and Marcy Marxer, The Sweater Set, and several other ukelele experts. I really loved an amateur ukelele group called The Riders, a group of seniors ages 68 through 94. They were great!

The crowd got bigger and bigger, but would there be enough strummers to breat the record?? The emcee kept encouraging folks to register, yet it seemed like we would fall short. There were 452 registered; there were 602 people registered! It was almost time, oh no!

 Andrea kept encouraging me to sign up, but first I would have to buy a ukelele. And wouldn't you know it? The House of Musical Traditions (a wonderful area music store) had ukeleles for sale, including beginner ukes for the princely sum of $40.

I caved -- it didn't take much, if I'm honest. I trotted over to the table, picked out a candy apple red number (no metal flake, alas!), forked over my cash, and registered. Andrea tuned up the uke and gave me a crash course in three chords: C, F, and G7. Those were the only chords I needed to play the two required songs.

Finally, the announcement! Did we have enough players??

YES! We had a grand total of 944 registered players!

Now it was time to strum. I did my best, but I'm glad there were so many other players there to drown out my clumsy attempt to play. At any rate, we played enthusiastic versions of This Land Is Your Land and Aloha O'e.

So yeah, I helped break a record! And I own a candy apple red ukelele -- luckily, I can take lessons starting in September.

 

Earthquake!

Holy smokes!

There I was, sitting at my desk preparing for my weekly one-on-one meeting with my manager. I noticed that my monitor was shaking a bit -- who the hell was stomping around so hard?

And then my desk started shaking, my chair started shaking... heck, I started shaking! Just as my brain realized that we were having a fucking earthquake, my colleague -- who is from California -- said, "It's an earthquake! Get under your desk!"

So I did!

Most of my co-workers dashed outside. I started to join them, but then the shaking subsided and stopped altogether.

Then I got a text from Joe: We had an earthquake! So of course I texted back: I know! We did too! I called my sister, who answered the phone saying, "Are you buried under rubble?" I texted SonnyeBoy in Ocean City, who also felt it.

Yes, we had an earthquake, magnitude 5.9 or thereabouts. I realize that my west coast friends are yawning and saying "Pish tosh! A mere shiver!" But it was pretty amazing for this area; in fact, it's strongest quake we've had in over 100 years. (I guess we were overdue.) The quake was centered in Mineral, Virginia, less than 100 miles from here. So far, no injuries have been reported, but there has been some damage around the area -- a wall fell in Centennial Plaza in Vienna, Virginia -- and structural engineers are inspecting the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.

Of course, the tweets (including mine!) started flying. This is my favorite:

Actually, next up for the East Coast is Hurricane Irene. It looks like it could come right up the coast, which is bad news for Ocean City, alas! I'm hoping that it weakens substantially so that I don't have to worry too much. (SonnyeBoy, could you put the porch furniture inside the house, please? Kthxbai.)

At any rate, after the world stabilized, I kept going over to my manager's office for our meeting, but she was one of the folks who skedaddled out of the building. Then we got word that there was a gas leak in the building.

That was all I needed to know! So long, work!

Lazy

I have been very lazy this weekend.

I blame the Flexeril.

No wonder the doctor only wants me to take this stuff at bedtime! I have been half-a-nod away from sleeping all day yesterday and all day today. In fact, I took a good long nap this afternoon.

And the dreams! Wow. I haven't had dreams this colorful since I smo-- um, well, never mind that. Let's just say they're colorful, detailed, and interesting. No bad ones, thank goodness; I can do without that. In one I was riding a roller coaster, but it only had one car and was very swoopy. I remember feeling exhilarated in the dream; not so much when I woke up.

Oh, I've managed to get a few things accomplished: I went grocery shopping, I scrubbed the powder room sink and the stove top, I shuttled Joe to and from work, and I made this (and boy, is it yummy). But all I really wanted to do was lie down and drool.

But my neck is much better. It's still sore, but not nearly as painful, so I count that as a win. I'm sure the Naproxen is helping as well. If this keeps up, I should back to normal in a few days.

Well, at least as normal as I ever am.

Pull Up Your Goddamn Pants: Guest Edition

The lovely and talented Measi sent this gem from New England! I rather like the effort to cuff up the pants, as if that would make them less sagalicious.

More to come from Measi too! If you spot some good sagging, don't be shy. Catch 'em on camera and send them along.

Location: Ashmont T Station, Dorchester, Massachusetts
Sag Factor: 9.2

So... Yeah, Hi!

Okay, okay! I'm going to the reunion. Joe's going too, God bless him! Thanks for the encouragement -- it should be a hoot. I hope I'll recognize some folks! Maybe I'll drag out my old eighth grade class graduation photo and bone up on the names and faces. Do you think they've changed much in 45 years? I know I have. Well, except for my porcelain complexion and radiant smile.

Last weekend we ran down to Ocean City for the weekend and hosted some very dear old friends. We had a great time, just sittin' and yakkin' and eatin' and drinkin'. The water was wonderful and I spent a lovely afternoon floating over the waves. Saturday evening the lovely and talented Deb and Beth stopped by for a beverage and a nosh, so the joint was a veritable beehive of activity! SonnyeBoy spent a lot of time with us too, so I got to love him up good.

Today I finally threw in the towel and called the doctor about my aching neck. The left side of it has been stiff and sore for over a month. I can't tell if it's a sore muscle, a pinched nerve, or something way more horrible like mocus in the crud. ("Mocus in the crud" is a fictional disease my pop was fond of diagnosing.) I am finally sick of having (not being) a pain in the neck! The doc prescribed Naprosyn, Flexiril, and hot compresses. Alas, I'll have to wait to pick up the meds, but I'll start the compresses tonight.

In fact, I think it's time for supper, accompanied by a Dark and Stormy with a hot compress chaser.

 

What to Do?

Just our luck! We spend a shitpile of cash on a new A/C system and the weather decides to turn perfect -- or so the forecast predicts.

Heh. I do not mind. It's nice to be able to choose to shut off the A/C and throw open the windows.

At the moment, it's still pretty warm. Our little feral cat is stretched out on the back stoop, being lazy, and I am inclined to do the same thing.

Be lazy, that is. I don't think stretching out on the back stoop is in the cards for me.

On the other hand, I could make something tasty, like pralines or rice krispie treats. Being able to turn on the oven without worrying about baking myself as well as what's in it -- that's a real boon of A/C, let me tell you.

Then again, the season finale of So You Think You Have Pants Can Dance is on in a few minutes, and I am eager to see who will win the title of America's Favorite Dancer! Will it be Melanie or Sasha? Tadd or Marko? I do not know! Tonight the Top Four will dance a lot; tonight America will vote; tomorrow America finds out who wins!

Perhaps I can do both. Prepare a treat AND ogle the dancers. I'll have to think about that!

Another thing I am thinking about is whether to attend the 45th reunion of my grade school class.

You read that right. Grade school. It's $40 per person! It's in the K of C hall! I haven't seen most of these people in about, oh... 45 years!

Forty. Five. Years.

How can I be so old as to have graduated from eighth grade 45 years ago? Seems impossible, yet there it is. On the one hand, almost all of these people will pretty much be complete strangers, albeit with some shared experiences and memories -- Sister Cecilius (or "Cecil" as we so kindly called her) and her underbite and halitosis, Sister Leon with her scary urban legends, Sister Saint David who was about 12 feet tall, Sister Mary I Forget, who we freaked out with our eighth grade rebellion of getting up and marching around the classroom...

Well, I've got two more days to decide. What do you think? Go or no go?

Another Stolen Sunday

I am basking in the newfound coolth of my house; it is a delightful 76 degrees in here. Out there? Oh, somewhere north of 90.

Anyway, time for this week's Sunday Stealing.

1. What has been your longest love relationship? Almost 32 years, with Joe.

2. What was the last gift that you received? Joe brought me a beautiful amethyst pendant, just because.

3. What do you spend your extra cash on? Extra cash? What's that?

4. If you could live anywhere would you live? The north shore of Oahu.

5. Who's your cell provider? Verizon, the bastards.

6. What's your favorite mall store? L.L. Bean, I guess. Or maybe Coldwater Creek.

7. What's the longest job that you've had? (No parenting does not count!) I worked for Manugistics, a software development company, for 16 years. Why so long? Inertia, I think.

8. If you won the lottery, who'd you call first? Joe! Then SonnyeBoy!

9. If you won, how would you spend your money after investments? I'd pay all the bills, then I'd pay all of SonnyeBoy's bills. Then I'd fix up the house, sell it, and move to the north shore of Oahu.

10. When was the last time you went to church (or a religious house)? My mother's funeral.

11. What's the biggest lie that you've heard? "We do not anticipate any more layoffs."

12. When you go out with your friends, where do you go? Out to eat, mostly!

13. When was the last time that you cried? Yesterday, when I watched the series finale of Friday Night Lights again. I know; I'm a sap.

14. What food do you hate? Indian. I've tried; honest.

15. What do you like best about yourself? My sense of humor.

Air Apparent

The latest heat wave -- two weeks straight of 90+ -- ended yesterday. This particular stretch included several days of 100+ temperatures with humidity to match; records dissolved in the heat.

Joe and I were enjoying the respite last night. I did mention that more days of 90-degree heat are just around the corner, but!

When that happens, we will have ...

Air conditioning.

Yes. We have sweated and steamed and boiled and baked this summer, because our A/C and heating system shit the bed. We had a "maintenance checkup" back in May, hoping against hope that the reason we had no air was just because of a minor leak in the line connecting the outside unit to the inside unit; you know, something you could actually repair with duct tape for a total cost of a dollar.

Oh no.

There was a leak all right -- in the coils deep in the innards of the indoor unit. To make this even more enjoyable, we had to replace the outside unit too -- something about coolant systems and size of the lines and johnson rods and katzenjammer pins.

We decided to wait a bit until we had the scratch to pay cash for the new system. Then we got three estimates, chose the best offer, signed the papers, and wrote a deposit check.

The crew arrives this Saturday between 7:30 and 9:00 and they leave, as the friendly representative said, when they are done.

And we will be cool and comfortable for the rest of the summer.

I am going to appreciate this new system. I am going to compliment it frequently and give it hugs. I am going to greet it lovingly in the morning and read it bedtime stories at night, stories about The Little A/C System That Could and The Brave Little Heat Pump and The Giving Air Conditioner and Where the Cool Nights Are.

Because we will have air conditioning.

Pull Up Your Goddamn Pants: Cargo Pants Edition

It kinda looks like the seat rail is holding up the saggitudinous cargo pants -- alas, it's just an illusion. If you look closely, you can just see the dark blue drawers right there between the t-shirt and the sag line.

Y'know, I might have cut him a little slack if he had had something in the cargo pocket. Alas, such was not the case.

 
Sag Factor: 7.5
Location: On the subway, close to Fort Totten