This morning on the radio I heard about the Winklevoss twins, who sued Mark Zuckerberg for stealing their idea and turning it into Facebook. They were awarded $65 million in cash and stock, and now they're saying "Oh no, that's not enough."
Can I tell ya something? If a judge handed me that kind of cash, I would say "Thank you very much" and maybe tear up a little bit.
Then I would take a one hundred dollar bill and wipe my teary eyes with it.
Other things I would do with hundred dollar bills?
I would hire a minion to walk in front of me strewing them like rose petals.
I would use them as tissues to blot the shine from my glowing cheeks.
I would fold them into interesting origami shapes.
I would light Joe's cigars with them.
I would weave them into nice placemats.
I would roll one up and tuck it jauntily behind my ear.
I would floss my teeth with them.
I would use them as coasters.
And finally? I would fill up my bathtub with them and lie in the money.
Lie. In. The. Money.