I have decided that I really want to be a member of the idle rich.
I have not come to this decision lightly; no, I have given it a lot of thought and I have realized that I have all of the qualifications, to wit:
- I enjoy sitting on my ass.
- I am quite willing to let other people shampoo my hair, massage my back, and scrape the calluses off my feet.
- I float on rafts really well, especially if there is a cold sparkling beverage in my hand.
- I look great in big sunglasses.
- And expensive clothes.
- I could get used to being driven around in a big comfortable car quite easily.
- Or sedan chair, upholstered in silk with big poofy pillows.
- I am quite capable of telling other people how to clean my spacious house that is full of the Latest Things.
- Gourmet food? Love it. No problems there, especially since someone else would cook it for me, unless I wanted to make a BLT for myself.
- With artisan bacon and excellent bread and fabulous homegrown tomatoes.
- Grown in my extensive organic vegetable garden by my hot gardener.
- Which is behind the Olympic pool and hot tub.
- Next to the cabana.
- Which is maintained by the cabana boy(s).
- Anyway! I'm highly skilled at delegating and critiquing and demanding (but in a nice way), especially if it means that I don't have to do any of it, which seems to be main requirement for being idly rich.
Now I just need to figure out how to join...