"Well, you look so pretty in it
Honey, can I jump on it sometime?
Yes, I just wanna see
If it's really that expensive kind
You know it balances on your head
Just like a mattress balances
On a bottle of wine
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat"
Yes! I'm selling this gorgeous thing on eBay. My mom gave it to me, but it's way too small for my enormous noggin.
So if you or any drag queens you might know are in the market for the gen-you-wine article, click that link up there and put in a bid!
My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, and I thank you!